What is Emotionally Focused Therapy?
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) was first developed in the 1980’s and has been used successfully around the world to help people of all cultural, ethnic, racial, and religious backgrounds improve their relationships. Originally developed to help couples break repetitive negative interactional cycles and create safe, secure attachment bonds, EFT has over 30 years of research and dozens of studies supporting its efficacy. (Link to research page of ICEEFT website?)
EFT is relatively short -term therapy. When couples receive treatment from a skilled EFT practitioner, 75% of them report full, lasting improvement in their relationship and 90% report some benefit. People who complete EFT also report a better understanding of their own emotional responses and those of others in their lives. These results hold true even when partners suffer from depression, anxiety, health challenges, grief, and traumatic experiences, and when there has been a betrayal, or pattern of betrayals, in the relationship.
EFT is Based on Attachment Science
The scientific foundation of EFT is the study of adult attachment. Attachment science has demonstrated that humans are innately social beings who are wired for intimate bonding and connection with others. When attachment needs have not been adequately met, people may react by sending out distress signals, shutting down their innate attachment needs, or protecting themselves from disappointment and pain. EFT therapists learn to identify these different kinds of emotional expression and help their clients understand and express their attachment needs openly and clearly. They help each person learn to be understanding of, and responsive to, their partner’s needs.
People who complete EFT often report experiencing a deeper, more meaningful connection with their partner than ever before. For some, it is the first safe and secure relationship they have ever experienced. This safety often allows them to work more productively on other life goals such as parenting, career advancement, and repairing relationships with other family members and friends.
EFT with Individuals and Families
More recently, EFT has also been used successfully in individual therapy to address depression, anxiety, and traumatic stress (Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy, or EFIT) and to repair family bonds (Emotionally Focused Family Therapy, or EFFT). Therapists use the same cutting edge, non-pathologizing interventions with individuals and families that have had demonstrated success in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy. These techniques facilitate deep, lasting changes to clients’ sense of self and to relational patterns. Clients who successfully complete treatment experience increased security, closeness, and safety in their intimate relationships and improved emotional accessibility, responsiveness and engagement with themselves and others.
Why “Communication Skills” and “Coping Skills” aren’t Enough
Often couples come into therapy saying, “We just need to learn to communicate better.” Individuals often ask their therapist to teach them coping skills. These interventions can be helpful in the moment but often don’t facilitate lasting change, because they don’t address the root of the problem.
EFT provides therapists with a roadmap for understanding and repairing the deeper issues responsible for communication problems or poor coping skills. The EFT therapist helps people send and receive clear messages about their attachment needs and fears. Couples and families learn to repair misunderstandings, express their needs from their hearts, and deeply understand each other. Individuals learn how unhelpful messages from the past continue to play out in the present, and are supported in developing deeper, healthier relationships with themselves and others.
The Importance of Community in Learning EFT
EFT is a relational model, based on an understanding of humans’ innate need for connection with others. Not surprisingly, therapists often report that this model cannot be learned in isolation, from a book, or by attending trainings alone. At PCEFT (link to membership page), we are committed to sharing our expertise together and supporting each other’s growth as therapists. We hope you will consider becoming part of our learning community. Mastering EFT is a journey that we don’t want you to take alone.
